If you look to Hollywood for tips on how to live single, you’re either going to find something sad and sorry, or wildly sexual and dangerously careless. None of which will ever bring you true happiness. The media is working tirelessly to keep you overwhelmed with stories of single people happily having sex with strangers, with no realistic consequences attached. Abstinence and singleness is rarely seen as a virtue, but more commonly as being a killjoy and out of touch. For many single people, resisting the pressure to follow the media’s version of singleness is like swimming against a tidal wave.
Another observation that I can make, is that Hollywood and mainstream media seems to dislike commitment. Men in committed relationships are seen as soft or trapped, women are portrayed to be unhappy or cheated on. In movies and on TV, all of this leads back to one thing. SEX! Freedom to have sex with anyone you want, at anytime you want, is all it boils down to. The love of money promotes it, sex sells it, and we buy into it.
I am NOT a Hollywood Single!
For me, being single is not a curse, but a blessing worth exploring. It is not a period of casual sex, but a great time for exploration and personal development.
Today, too many single people are either dying to be in a relationship or focused on sleeping around for temporary physical satisfaction. But singleness is far too great of a gift to be wasted on those types of activities.
When I made the decision to be single and abstinent over seven years ago, my desire was to serve God and learn to love Him, before romantically loving anyone else again. It was because of this decision that my entire life changed for the better, though at the time, it did not seem possible. Truth is, I tried many times before and failed. But there is something powerful that happens when persistence is coupled with faith in Jesus Christ. God has made from the old man, a new man.
Your “friends” and romantic partners are some of the hardest people to face when making the decision to be single and abstinent. But the most difficult of them all is YOURSELF. It is easy to have faith in God, but will you persist past your fleshly and emotional desires? After making mistakes, wanting to give up and even loosing that boyfriend or girlfriend, WILL YOU STILL PERSIST?
Understand that if he or she left you because of your decision, what they really wanted was not you, but your body. You are more than an object to be used for another’s physical pleasure. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Father (Pslam 139:14) and your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19-20).
I too struggled with being alone. But once I realized I was not alone and how close Jesus had been to me, that’s when I was able to fully commit to my journey of abstinence and singleness. Your perspective is everything! If you see it as a hopeless cause you won’t succeed. But if you set your sites on Jesus and allow Him to reveal His plan to you, joy will replace doubt and love will replace fear. No longer will you need the approval of others to do what is in your heart.
Let me point out that, I am not expecting everyone to be single 7 years like me (LOL). But I am encouraging you to serve Jesus Christ through your singleness and allow Him the honor of bringing love into your life. After all, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9).
You deserve true love and that begins with Jesus!
Thanks so much for reading my blog. Stay tuned, there is much more to come!